


could i lie next to you?

by problematic_pleasures



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, M/M, Season 7 Episode 8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-13
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8835124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/problematic_pleasures/pseuds/problematic_pleasures
Summary: Negan wants more than he should





	

**Author's Note:**

> random drabble that's been bugging me since the episode aired; hope you like it!

Negan grins at Rick, bright and devious. Lucille is balanced on his shoulder, but his concern for her has settled for the moment. “I think,” he tells Rick, “that I’m gonna stick around a while longer.” He brushes past Rick deliberately and makes a beeline for the quaint town house. He strides up the steps and pauses to look at Carl.

Carl barely meets his eyes, blinking and fidgeting like a skittish animal. “What?” Olivia’s dead body rests at their feed, bleeding all over the porch.

“Help me clean up?” Negan asks as he turns his blood-splattered cheek to the younger man.

Carl eyes the streaks of red, casts one more look back at his dad, then faces Negan again. He nods. “Yeah, come on.” He leads the way back into the house, stepping around Olivia. Negan follows quick at his heels and manages to resist making a snide comment.

He follows Carl up the stairs to the bigger bathroom and sits as Carl directs—on the closed lid of the toilet seat. He sets Lucille aside and tilts his face back.

Carl wets a towel with warm water and a bit of soap. He brings it to Negan’s cheek, pauses, then starts to wipe in slow strokes. Carl’s gaze stays focused on his task, not on the way Negan looks at him.

Negan watches the way the boy’s lips purse in concentration. He wants to chortle, but he stays obediently still. He doesn’t move when Carl rinses the rag again and wipes away the last of the grime off Negan’s cheek. Then, he tosses the faintly reddened towel into the sink. He doesn’t move from where he stands, though, between Negan’s knees.

“Thanks, kid,” Negan tells him. His hands itch with the urge to grab Carl by the hips.

Carl peers down at him curiously, hair falling over his face like a curtain. His lips stay pursed a little longer before he speaks. “Olivia didn’t have to die.”

Negan doesn’t deflate, but it’s close. “Carl,” he starts in warning.

“No, you didn’t have to let that happen. You went fucking _crazy_ out there, what the _fuck_?” Carl looks angry, disgusted, sadness bright in his single eye. “You—fuck, Negan,” Carl sighs, a hurt and quivering sound, and runs his hand through his hair in distress. “ _Fuck_.”

Negan frowns. “I couldn’t let that go unpunished.”

“I know, but you couldn’t—anyone else, Olivia was—she was a good person. She didn’t deserve to die.”

“Wasn’t my decision, kid.” Negan finally gives in to the urge to take Carl by the hips. That’s all he does, though, just thumbs his touch gentle and reserved along the bony hips.

Carl glares at him. His hands fall to Negan’s shoulders and clench in the leather. It creaks in his grip. Carl begins to shake and his breathing hisses like a rapid, rushing river through his nostrils. His eyes clench shut and he rattles hard enough that Negan feels unsettled, as well. He can’t tell if it’s anger or sadness pummeling its way through the boy, and isn’t sure he wants to find out.

“Carl,” Negan begins softly. He leans his head in closer, reaches up to cup Carl’s chin. Their noses brush is a starkly delicate gesture. “I am sorry,” he says. He keeps his tone firm, genuine, even if he didn’t care for Olivia that much. “I am sorry,” he says again until Carl finally looks him in the eye.

“Whatever,” Carl shakes his head. He sucks in a deep breath, looks to the ceiling and blinks away tears. He shudders and just like that, the crack in the façade is gone. He shakes his head and a thin-lipped smile takes place on his ruddy red lips. He leans down and kisses Negan’s smooth cheek. “Asshole,” he declares, an uneven mix of affectionate and truly angry.

Negan’ll take it. He likes the look on his younger lover. He grins and finally stands, keeps his hands on Carl’s body.

Carl looks up and accepts another kiss from Negan before pushing him away. “You oughta go,” Carl tells him.

Negan wants to stay. He wants to insert himself more than he already has into Carl’s life here. He wants to bury himself in this life, the house and the baby and all the control and power. He wants to reign here, almost like a fucking fairytale, with Carl. Negan stares at Carl as though the boy’s mind will change.

Carl just turns away and leaves the room without looking back.

Negan just grabs Lucille, swings her over his shoulder again, and leaves while miming a tip of his hat to Rick, still standing outside. Negan leaves without looking back, too; the ride back feels empty, though, in a way he can’t deny.


End file.
